I need an editor please.

whoever said plastic was not that lovable after all ( i did, and still do, that later), bu look at these lovely, succulent, rounded , dimpled pieces of abs plastic. they are my joy, each time i press one of them, its a step further into my own world of being content in my own company, where i have my own thoughts for toys, my own image gallery that i could go on reliving for an entire lifetime , if need be, that is.

i know i know i know. i don't write like this usually.
ive been reading about a lovable, real, hate able , famous pedophile, dear mr Nabokov haunted me last evening, everywhere i looked, id find yet another book by him, and then i would wonder why i was looking at that book, that Russian name yet again, given the covers were particularly ordinary. while their more flashy comrades took a backseat in that ah, soulful bookstore i have come to love with every inch of my living being.


so this creature, Humbert Humbert,a man of almost 40 is in love, (love? ) with a 12 year old. and i didn't want to kill the suspense for myself, so i haven't read, how and why, i have encountered his dark, sinned, but intelligently retrospective confession.

if you do something 'wrong' and don't think its wrong- is your being cold blooded the only plausible reason?
at various junctures this week, i have encountered similar questions, and dismissed them to a growing sense of indiscipline.
and the whole cycle of thoughts from how India- has essentially survived as a repository of 'humanness' is cause , perhaps, youth as a body were, for a very very long time given little or no space for free thought and action.rules and conventions have regulated every breath an individual took, right from his birth, to well, the very last.

we've had our decent share of way wards, alright, but then they were always way wards.or so it has been communicated down the generations. books tell me, earliest civilizations of the Indian sub continent were as bohemian as could be, but certain other people, perhaps with a discerning idea and fore thought, gradually came in place to dictate notions, culture and mentalities.

at this point, im very Keen on deconstructing Indian marriages against this canvas. why they survived, how we've cultivated our women, and what our idea of a family has come to be. and stayed therefore , almost until now.

quite clearly, its breaking, divorcees are on the loose, i hear live in relationships are a fad, and single parents are one of the biggest fish in the market of emotional gamblers these days.

and gradually too (its not that gradual any more, that you sit back and listen to me with a slow nod and a smoking pipe), there little or no difference between what Indian young people are, and their peers in the united states.

ive had little or no contact with actual individuals to support my theory, and id be more than happy to be proved wrong on this.
i hear people screeching about globalisation, and i discover its saddening me. i must be abnormal, or old school, or just plain dumb.
fixed ideas, as my father offers every time i decide to speak my mind to him.(generation gap, that too, later).

tinged

googled

pink ,blood,pinkblood,fold,creep,blow,jester,crow,dark,angel,crazy,foucault
found,linger,longer,sigh,fixed,foxed,told

and lack of poof in life.

silenced

and 6000 girls a day on an average.
http://killingzone.blogspot.com/2006/04/islam-painful-female-genital.html

faith piqued

"Lewis Wolpert, in his new book, "Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast" .... http://blog.lib.umn.edu/perry032/impossible/ ( this link has nothing to do with this context, though just what i got goooog..)

this one , however, is contextual: http://www.penguin.ca/nf/Book/BookDisplay/0,,0_0571209203,00.html

tells us that although faith is not a scientific concept we humans cling to it based on an underpinning of intuitive beliefs that are deeply held and are usually unshakeable. The author has a novel proposition that this imperative to link cause and effect which is directly derived from our early homonid ansestor's discovery of tools may date back as much as 2 million years ago, that is the ability to fashion a flint spear set us apart from all other species. This intention driven search for value and substance is the very foundation of design thinking and it is now coming back to us as the very foundation of society and culture, unlike the areas of science and technology that help define facts and truths on which we base our so called research initiatries while ignoring feelings and ethics that shape society in many subtle and imperceptible ways."

continued my dear mr Ranjan

untitled 2 ? , nah, this ones called something else

will tell you more about this later,
i promise

------------------------------------------
i dont even remember why and when i wrote the above, very unsettling lines
it seems i made a promise
and now i dont know the contents of that promise
its like a put a thing in a jar,
and never bothered to remember what i was putting in it, sure that i'll find it the next time i unscrew the lid,
but now as i do,
the ' thing' has escaped.

faith is a small small word
like hate, or thankyou, or sorry.
most abused, most used, fall back plan for some, usual way of life for others, and words not good enough for still others.
and what do we do then
when you know youre really sorry but youre sorry the word sorry doesnt convey how sorry you are..
sorry.
i grin
you scowl
i grin more so
you look around
you give up and sigh

there arent words enough.
only faith that faith will convey the essence of faith.

dogged

i had no idea when i was reading the book, that i'd be writing about it too.
"the stockmen", seems to be the flavour of my pg bedroom these couple of days.
missed sleep and dinner cause i t never occured to me that those things need to be done too-

umm, i dont intend to write a review here, but so that (incase you're still reading this), you have some context.
its about a girl caughtup in her mum's world of high class false talk and preppy designer clothes, when what she really wants to do it sweat it out on the fields.
dogs, horses, sheeps cows, the shearers, farmers, the horse races and everything that could possibly need nerves in a countryside

and obviously she'll break off into this world- hell this part is fiction. cream is the smooth narration of the realities of jack gleeson - the man who discovered the kelpie breed of dogs, woven beautifully into this fiction. our lady rachael treasure has done a good job of it.
if youre still awake and miraculously interested, see if you can find a copy of this one, its a quick read, and .. and pretty decent.

this is just as good as graffiti. but there 's a link soemwhere on this page which maybe slightly more informative than the above paragraph.

congratulations, you have amazing amounts of will power and patience.
you qualify to be a 3 year old's mom.