Monday, February 27, 2006

blind fantasies

memory tags

1 people will never stay with you as they are but as you see them as you remember them
every body sees a different me everybody 'perceives' me differently including myself
which is why my self portraits may be true to just me, half truths to some people and complete denials to others,
including my mother.

2 stills or moving pictures?
animated synthetically or kept in its true form is our brain capable of storing moving pictures files
or do we store them frame wise and play them rapidly to give the impression of continuous motion
or do we tween images.

3 and how would you explain self created motion pictures
fantasies. long drawn imagery that can go on and on based on the cues we have on people from our past experiences with them expression, skin texture, smell, the time of the day, lighting, emotions, anticipated comments timber of voice, and how it changes when they shout ,laugh, whisper, a note of their wardrobe, the kind of fabric they would wear, and the interpersonal- physical distance that is perceived, or can be comfortably imagined between yourself the imagined person equated the realistic intimacy , or the desired intimacy you feel towards that person

4 and then comes the point where you cant sort your imagined fantasies form the actual past ( if there is anything like that ) and the innumerable accounts of where you have anticipated something so much, wanted and fantasised something so much , that it is already and humongous part of your alternate reality, and thus when it occurs in the 'real' world reality, it has, even before it occur ed, lost its sense of novelty.
you've already been there, done that.
and instead of marvelling at our brain's ability to render future so precisely, we may feel put off by the lack of 'any difference between what i expected, and what really is" we still want novelty. newness excites
it is what makes most things memorable
concept of new new would be a commodity never seen before

so then, all ideas are stale, cause you've gestated them, toyed with them and held them inside you for long durations of time only that spark, when something clicks become memorable
human beings are a relentless, thankless bunch of creatures. slaves of our visual capacities.
we look we see we perceive
and then there are people who are blind.

do they dream
so they see dreams do they have imagery?
there is no colour, light dark, shaded, only form , sounds and smells

what are their fantasies made of?
how do they see people what colour if any
is every thing black do they let in any light into their dreams?
how does one be blind?

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